This page is dedicated to short wise things heard and said...
The title and a some of the contents on this page is "stolen" from an email I
got from a friend. Other parts of the contents os stolen from a small program called
cookie.com (yes it is old) and the rest ... well probably stolen from some other place
....
If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%?
Marriage is a ghastly public confession of a strictly private intention.
Everyone is a genius. It's just that some people are too stupid to realize it.
There is so much sand in Northern Africa that if it were spread out it would completely cover the Sahara Desert.
Life is like an analogy.
Did you hear that two rabbits escaped from the zoo and so far they have only recaptured 116 of them?
| Q: | What's the difference between the 1950's and the 1980's? |
| A: | In the 80's, a man walks into a drugstore and states loudly, "I'd like some condoms," and then, leaning over the counter, whispers, "and some cigarettes." |
When I was a young man, I vowed never to marry until I found the ideal
woman. Well, I found her -- but alas, she was waiting for the ideal man.
-- Robert Schuman
Ninety-Ninety Rule of Project Schedules:
The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time,
and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.
Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein
Life is sexually transmitted.
Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
Never knock on Death's door; ring the doorbell and run (he hates that).
Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive, anyway.
There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.
Reputation: what others are not thinking about you.
The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
I'm an influential person - gravitationally speaking.
People who have no faults are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them.
A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.
If you have nothing to do, don't do it here.
Time is just nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
If we can't fix it - its broken!
If it works, Don't fix it.
Don't ask me; I was hired for my looks.
There are two ways to write error-free programs;
only the third one works.
Flying is the art of throwing yourself at the ground... and missing!
Reality is for people who can't face science fiction.
Remember, the fact that you're paranoid doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you!
Test-tube babies shouldn't throw stones.
People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses.
Winning isn't everything, but then losing is nothing.
The shortest distance between two points is usually under construction.
Christ died for our sins, so let's not disappoint him.
If you eat yogurt you'll have lots of culture.
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Sometimes too much drink is not enough.
Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
This is as bad as it can get, but don't bet on it.
All problems can be resolved with the proper application of high explosives.