Why ... is better than ...

For you people needing a reason or two...

Why Chocolate is Better Than Sex

  1. You can get chocolate.
  2. 'If you love me you'll swallow that' has real meaning with chocolate.
  3. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
  4. You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
  5. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
  6. You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
  7. If you bite the nuts to hard, the chocolate won't mind.
  8. Two people of the same sex can eat chocolate without being called nasty names.
  9. The word 'commitment' doesn't scare off chocolate.
  10. You can have chocolate on top of your workbench or desk, during working hours without upsetting your co-workers.
  11. You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
  12. You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
  13. With chocolate, there's no need to fake it.
  14. Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
  15. You can chocolate at any time of the month.
  16. Good chocolate is easy to find.
  17. You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you want, even at the same time.
  18. You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
  19. When you have chocolate, it doesn't keep your neighbours awake.
  20. With chocolate size doesn't matter.

Why SEX is Better Than Chocolate After All

A few of the many reasons why sex is better that chocolate:

  1. You can usually have it without putting weight on!
  2. If you put weight on, it's a baby!It' won't damage your teeth!
  3. You only need to share it with ONE person!
  4. Your children dont steal it.
  5. You dont have to find a place to hide the wrapper afterwards.

Why prison is better than work

  1. In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell. At work you spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.
  2. In prison you get three meals a day. At work you only get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.
  3. In prison you get time off for good behavior. At work you get rewarded forgood behavior with more work.
  4. In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors. At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
  5. In prison you can watch TV and play games. At work you get fired forwatching TV and playing games.
  6. In prison you get your own toilet. At work you have to share.
  7. In prison they allow your family and friends to visit. At work you cannot even speak to your family and friends.
  8. In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required. At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
  9. In prison you spend most of your life looking through bars from theinside wanting to get out. At work you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
  10. In prison there are wardens who are often sadistic. At work they are called supervisors.
  11. In prison you have unlimited time to read e-mail jokes. At work you get fired if you get caught.

 

This page is last updated 1999-09-30